A week’s worth

Some how I thought the week break could not have come at a better time. With so many things happening, having the comfort of being with myself to regroup, think things and relax has worked wonder. While nobody loves the end of a vacation, I am glad to be at least in a better frame of mind approaching the rest of the semester.

And today I would say we had completed about 70% of the horrible 205 project, which hopefully will free me some reasonable time to prepare for the upcoming tax quiz.

ABCC is looming, and the training we had the other day was cool as we learnt things about Singapore which we always thought we know…but we don’t. I am attached to the faculty members, which I feel is perfect since I tend to mix around better with the older people anyway. Other perks for being the faculty ambassadors is that we would be treated to rides in the Flyer, we will coast along the F1 race route, and we will have a nice dinner buffet at some posh restaurants.  

And I get to skip my second tax quiz while enjoying these activities.

Filed under: Life

The grey period

I hate going to the veterinary for a very simple reason. Each time we go there, it seems that a portion of my life is chewed and spit off. Ever so nonchalently. So cruelly…

The days we spent putting her on drip is no fun, but it was heartening to know that she appears better with each treatment. When she began to eat on her own, we were so glad. When she can pass motion, we cheered. We kidded ourselves.

Yesterday we brought her for a blood test again. The doctor told us that her CREA level, an indicator of kidney’s health, has gone up again. What was so depressing was that I actually thought it had dropped. I mis-read the report when the technician handed me. It went from 9.1-10.0, and not 10.0-9.1.

Dr Choi issued us an ultimatum. He told us that there really isn’t much things we can do about it. She has about a few weeks left in her lengthy life, at best, a few months. He told us to continue what we have been doing and to really hope for the best. Our next visit is scheduled at 3 weeks later, that is, if she can hang on to that long. When we went to the prescription counter, we weren’t even required to get some of the medicine, as if it was a kind intention by the Doctor to save us money. Nonetheless, I insisted on getting them. 

Part of the reason why I am so sad is in knowing how much my dad dotes on her. When told that he has accidentally threw some of the syringes down the rubbish chute, he actually went down to retrieve it. This is someone who has never, out of his own will, bought me a packet of rice. He suggested ‘bringing her out’ this coming weekend in a last attempt to show her the world that has so eluded her in the past 15 years. Depressingly sad, but I am in full support of it.

Sometimes I wonder how much emotions one can have of an animal, which by and large, may not even understand anything at all. But thinking how she’s been part of us in the last 15 years, her no longer at home just seems so unacceptable. It’s hard to communicate; I guess this is something only animal lovers and pet owners can fully understand.

Since coming back from Canada, life has been a roller-coaster. It’s the grey period, but I am sure we can ride along…

Filed under: Life

Choices

Among the many designs wordpress has, I decided to go ahead with the current one. I think I like it the most.

Many months ago, I got fed up with Internet Explorer and decided that Firefox is the better web browser. Then Apple Safari came up and I opted for the cooler layout. Then last week, I downloaded Google Chrome and never looked back since. Who knows how long ’since’ will be?

Is choice necessarily a good thing?

Say we are given only a choice. We make that decision and it turn out to be bad. We blame the person who gave us only a option, and since we are not given other options, we can’t blame ourselves for making the wrong decision. Say in another situation we are given 2 choices. We make a decision and again it turned out to be the bad one. Still we blame the person who gave us that bad option, but this time round we also blame ourselves for not choosing the right option. Say now we have 100 choices and for some reasons, we still make the wrong choice. Chances are, we will blame ourselves more than we will blame the person who provided us with the wrong option.

That was basically the argument of a professor in a google video a friend showed me some time ago. I always thought that he sounded logical, but admitting to that was akin to me saying communism is right. But lately, with so many decisions to make, I can’t help but think…

Is choice necessarily a good thing?

Filed under: Thoughts

时穷

I don’t have time outside: 

• AA205 Project
• AB311 Simulation Game
• AA203 Readings and Presentation
• AA201 Quiz Preparation
• NAAT Commitments
• ABCC Commitments
• Cover Letters and Resumes for Job Applications

Of the all, AA205 probably takes most of my time. I fear we have sinked out boots in the quagmire that is our chosen business process. It seems that the organisation is expecting us to do something great. We had to sell our idea to them last Tuesday by pitching a presentation in a semi-formal manner. And we are expected to do something similar this Wednesday when we will meet some big shot process owners in their Deputy Director. Good thing is that it really builds up my courage talking to people like them (and to sound convincing) who are bound to ask us many questions we can’t quite answer. Bad thing of course is that it’s time consuming. I have got to skip my Tax class to attend the meeting, which I seriously hate doing so.

AB311 is my favourite class since the subject matter is my career interest right now. It doesn’t require home work, and I love the fact that class participation takes a whooping 15%. I found the fact that us frivolously shooting other team’s views, only for them to unleash all their displeasure back on us (while it’s our turn to present!) last week strangely amusing. The simulation game, however, is as fun as chewing glass.

NAAT is also going to take up some substantial time, seeing how I have somehow stumbled upon the role of an Internal Audit Manager. I suppose being part of the Main Committee is fun, but CCA and me has always been an awkward affair. The people I meet has been really cool, and I guess it’d be nice to experience some non-academic activities while still in school. Oh wait, ‘Audit and Assurance Team’ doesn’t quite belong to being ‘non-academic’, does it?

ABCC will be fun. But on the week of 13 Oct, we will attend classes only at the mercy of our assigned business case teams. A call from them, and poof, off we go. Tour guide training, courtesy by a fellow student who’s a certified tour guide will be really useful when some of my foreign friends come visiting. The business round table and dinner gala sounds serious, which would be good practices for the big stages.

Also, I shall be meeting Thomas this Wednesday to gather some help in writing my cover letter to Monitor and BCG. But seriously, I need to squeeze some time to write something meaningful first. Last time I wrote to Bain, I took about 3 days. Sigh.

Tomorrow I shall do something I have not done for a long while- stay at home and do nothing but study for 201. I am sure after next week, I will see the clear of the coasts.

Hot damn. That was what I said a week ago too. And 2 weeks ago. And 3 weeks ago…

Filed under: Life

Drip

To put her on drip, we were taught to inject the needle into the back of the neck area. Today, I learnt to do just that.

It was really intimidating. Prior to my return, my dad had tried and failed and just refused to do that anymore. I am really scared as I am not sure how much pain it will cause. My cat screamed when I first put the needle, failed a couple of times before putting it in firmly. I hate to do it, but it’s a necessary evil. We inserted 150 ml of water into her body today, and we need to do so for another 2 days, before reporting back to the vet for further treatment. I am dead tired to do all these stuffs, but it makes me happy knowing that doing so may help build up her health. 

Hope that I can get better at it quickly, although I must wish I don’t even need to do it to begin with.

Filed under: Life

Pain management

When we went to see her yesterday, it was apparent she was angry. Or maybe sad. She kept her head facing away from us, as if not wanting to look at the persons who put her in such a desolate place. In her 15 years with us, save the few time she went missing, she never went pass a few steps away from the corridors.

My dad choked. Much like how we humans do, kidney dialysis for animals involve passing those needles into their tiny bodies. It must have been painful. But animals can’t tell us how much pain they feel. Nor can they refuse to do what they do not want to do. We humans will decide their fate. Their pain.

I told myself not to tear and even brought some lecture notes along the road to divert my attention. But I failed miserably. She is quite clearly my emotional weakness. 

Today we brought her back. When the nurse remove the needles from her body she was in excruciating pain, my flesh subjected to her unwilling struggle. While Dr Nathalee said that the treatment did improve, it is still quite some way from the ideal meters. But she’s 15 years old, there are some things we need to make do with.

She still can’t eat. But it’s apparent she wants to. Her gum ulcers, a result of the kidney problem, makes it difficult for her to consume anything at all. After each meal, even some water, she will scratch her mouth furiously. We used to think it was funny how she could stand on her hind legs doing the gesture, well, fate is funny.

Only thing we can do now is to continue the treatment at home. I’m sure my cat, whom I went by the convenient name of ‘Kitty’ in the veterinary, will also find greater ease at the place she call home. I still find it hard to come to terms, and this blog is a result of myself not being able to sleep in peace.

We all need to learn how to come to terms with some things in life. These 2 weeks I have been learning mine.

Filed under: Life