Green

When judged by the natural order of the realities, reservists too often become meaningless, us all the unwilling parties. One that has been conditioned by the vicious routines of life is plucked and placed in an utterly familiar environment, but for each day we have been away from it, entirely foreign as well.

Detestable, yes; but is that all there is to it? Jokes that never seem to get old, time that abruptly stops, and new stories to be discovered by the same old pasts- military life is perhaps just a different creature, one we ought not to tame with our seasoned selves.

Filed under: Life

The cold air

Sometimes the grind and tow of the days bury a feeling so deep you didn’t know it even existed. Yesterday that feeling was survived.

I meant the anxiety, fear and excitement. Then the dread. And when all is done, the extreme sadness that things just aren’t the same anymore.

Meeting the exchange students who are to tread what I walked almost made me feel like I am doing it all over again. But it wouldn’t have been fair to them. The adventure is to be experienced, not told.

Of all things I missed Edmonton the most, it was the air. I could still smell the air. It never left.

Filed under: Life

Responsibility

“The bad news is, your father’s got cancer”

And the good news is, sensing the ominous moods, “It isn’t as aggressive as we thought.”

To us, it was all good news. At least for the time being.

Cancer isn’t exactly foreign to my family. My uncle was recently diagnosed with it; my aunt was killed by it; my grandfathers were allegedly victims of it; and now my dad’s got it. Could it be me one day? I wouldn’t put a bet against it.

I have always known myself as the lynchpin of my family. This past week merely gave me the opportunity to prove it.

Filed under: Life

A rare luxury

Red. Customised. Mailed to order. Mine.

One thing about being in my profession, at least in our infancy years, is that our income rarely supports any luxury spendings. It thus took me quite a substantial effort to justify the decision. My iPod Mini, ever so reliable for the 4+ years, is finally due for retirement.

When it comes to gadgets, I go by a golden rule of thumb- Premium- because it’s always worth it. Apple, in particular, the 5th Generation of iPod Nano fits the bill well. It looks good (or at least, decent), is reliable, uses a familiar interface, has a radio function, contains a pedometer, and is packed with 16GB of memory.

And music, may I add, is quite essential in the near horizon, when I will spend my nights off making sure that the Trial Balances balances.

That always helps.

Filed under: Life

Perk #1

One of the few, if not only perk of a 13 hours/day job (10 at work, another 3 at home) is that I get to occassionally rub shoulders with familiar people whom I have befriended on TV.

Professionalism?

More like: Must. Resist. Urge. To. Take. Pictures. With. Them

First week has been super tough, made tougher by my insane expectations. No, much tougher by a peer who is so obviously better at what he does than me. Between peer pressure, the constant stress that a novice should never put on his first ever assignment, and the overwhelming work that prides on its complexity, I am glad my first month ended on a good note.

Filed under: Life

First sniff of a stress

Friday was a very difficult day for me at work. Having missed 4 days of training prior to it, the bulk of it involving important stuffs on audit procedures, it was tough for me to keep my mind on anything that was taught in class. There are a lot of administrative stuffs to get a hang on, something my less than perfect condition was able to cope. But well, it was all over.

Tomorrow marks my first job at the client’s place. Having not undergone some of the audit training, I don’t feel confident at all, spending part of the weekend speculating on how diasastrous things may turn out. It didn’t help that the course mate paired with me was an ex-intern in the firm, and who seems really accustomed to how things work over here.

Being part of an organisation such as mine makes it inevitable that comparisons are rife, and people are competitive. More often than not, these are where the stress comes from. I need to remind myself that I am my own barometer of success, and to take things slow.

Filed under: Life

Moral dilemma

Convocation, or commencement, its more widely-known term, is a rite of passage that graduating students pass through upon leaving school. I have long anticipated mine, carefully unfolding the graduation gown, dusting off the dirt that has settled on it for some time, preparing myself for the important ceremony that is 5.30pm today.

Wasted efforts.

I supposed I can blame the colleague who was obviously sick and whom still reported to work, possibly passing the virus to me. But putting myself in his shoes, that’s probably what I would have done too. Who, afterall, without losing a leg or an arm, would want to miss the first few days of his budding career?

The doctor had all but banned me from leaving home. But I still have a choice. Attend the ceremony in my contagious body, or heed her words. A moral dilemma in an once in a lifetime event. It wasn’t easy.

When presented with choices I am bound to feel bad for choosing either, it then became surprisingly clear- go with the heart. This is possibly the most altruistic, ethical, and stupid decision I will ever make, but I know I am right.

I just need to learn to live with it.

Filed under: Life

New chapter

July 20 is here. It heralds the beginning of the next phase of my life: my career. Instead of giving myself undue expectations on what I want to achieve in the next few years, I would rather set some reminders on how to approach this new life challenge, and be happy with what comes along.

Be proud
What I have, or have not done in the past are all what constituted to who I am today. I ought to be proud of all that.

Yet humble
There are so many things which I do not yet know, things I should never proclaim to know. Each day presents a new opportunity to learn, and they are to be cherished. I ought to respect others for who they are, what they represent, and how they view things, however much I may not agree.

Appreciate
I ought to be appreciative of my position as there is always someone out there who wish to be in my shoes, but hasn’t been given the kind of opportunity I had. I also ought to show my appreciation to everyone who has helped, and who will help me in one way or another.

Be myself
It’s important to look high, but it’s more important to do that being myself. Change is good only if they are not for the bad.

Be happy
There is always a bright side to everything. Search for it, represent it, and be committed to it.

Make time
Excercise, reading, writing, gaming, and travelling are my interests. They ought not be lost to the excuse of ‘having no time’.

Giving it all
While at work, I will committ 100% to it. While I am not, there is no way I am going to do anything work.

After such a long break, it may take some time getting used to the new environment. But I am sure I will handle it well.

Filed under: Life

My Reviewing Process

Followers of this blog, not many probably, would be acquainted by now that I love video games.  It has been a hobby I have picked up when I was 5 (maybe?), and couldn’t part since then, not that I would ever remotely think of doing that. Incredulously, gaming spawned another interest of mine in recent years: reviewing them.

There are certain rules that I follow when doing a review. First, I would have to beat the game before I feel I have any right to say anything about them. Since role playing games are almost the only games I play, it may take 20 to even 100s of hours just to reach the ending credits. Second, I would try my best to write in impeccable English. This oftens means spending a lot of time in Dictionary.com. And third, I would always write in 3rd persons, which isn’t always easy to do. I don’t know why, it just feels more professional. Fourth, and perhaps the hardest, is in deciding a score. Numbers are meaningful only when compared- I can’t warrant a game a perfect score of 10 if I didn’t significantly enjoy it more than a game I score 8.0.

As a result, each review typically takes me 3-4 hours to write. The most recent one on Persona 3: Fes probably took me 6 to write/rewrite/edit and even at the end I wasn’t 100% pleased. Yeah, it’s serious business for an amateurish hobby.

So with employment in the picture, there is no way I can devote that much time. I have since came up with a second format, a quick fix whenever I feel like writing something and which can be done within an hour or so. It’s actually stolen from the now defunct EGM megazine, with the Good/Bad points and a Quirk listed out from the rest of the review being its main feature.

I don’t see how any of this is of consequences to you non aficionados. I guess I just love explaining things.

Filed under: Games, Life

Reminisce

I realised I haven’t quite explained to some of my friends what the hell I was doing in the Philippines a couple of weeks back. Link.

But really, it is posted here so that I can reminisce those amazing times easily.

Filed under: Life